You’ve committed to your same-sex partner and checked that it’s legal to get married in your state or country. Now what? The first step is knowing what “perfect gay wedding” means to you. It’s important to give your partner time to think about what he or she wants too when it comes to the special day you’ll share.

Your wedding day should be that one time when you’re allowed to do whatever you want. It’s normal for couples of all kinds to disagree on certain issues. If this happens, ask yourself the following questions:

  • How much does this issue really matter to me?
  • How important is this issue for my future husband or wife?

You’ll be pleasantly surprised how many issues can be resolved with this system and how easy it is.

Decide on Venue and Rings

Major issues like ring sets, venue type, and attire need to be discussed first and foremost. They’re not the only issues, however. Talking about the important ones: should you choose an indoor or outdoor venue? A casual or formal setting? Would you like to do something spiritual? How do you reconcile religious beliefs with homosexuality and will it be possible to do something religiousat all in these circumstances?

Reception and Guests

Do you want to celebrate in a close circle or have a big wedding with all your family and friends? After you exchange vows, do you want to host a reception? Are you inviting fewer people to the service than to the reception?


Budgeting right could be the most important issue. All the above issues affect it. Professionals advise making an estimate and then doubling it to make sure your budget will cover everything. This is especially important if you want hundreds of guests and a wedding with all the bells and whistles.

Setting a budget needs to be something you plan ahead. It’s important to set a limit early before you start dealing with details. Additional costs here and there don’t seem to matter when you’re making plans, but they can add up.

Some people prefer simplicity, while others would rather go all out on their big day. Either can be costly, so you and your future spouse must agree on how much you’re both willing to spend in advance. An open bar will be expensive, but should your guests have to buy drinks all night?

On that note, a dry wedding is a bad wedding. Your budget should include alcohol. Even if you don’t drink, chances are your guests will unless they’re all from AA.